Back Home After 3 Days Away

I was gone from Sunday April 24th through Wednesday April 27th. A bit anxious since during my trip in late February Cassie had her seizure, spent the night in the hospital, and all of this began. Apprehensive about leaving.

Nothing bad happened, but I felt compelled to call back to Maxine twice each day to check on things, especially any specific changes in Cassie's condition. Luckily, no changes were evident.

We did a handoff on Wednesday. Maxine left the house for her trip at 2:30pm and I was home before 4pm. So, Cassie was only alone for a short while. I missed her. And it is even more evident how lonely things will be when she's gone. And, even if there's a miracle and she lives for years with the tumor, she will die. And it will be lonely. And we'll miss our little girl, our erstwhile daughter, intensely.

We leave water out for her in the bathroom at night now. Easier than her getting us up. And we've taken the door off her crate, so she can wander if she wants, and especially get to the water. We'll hear a noice then her licking water from her bowl. It surprises me that she can be that competent, remembering that she does have water, and where it is, in the middle of the night and in the dark. But, she does. And I'm pleased at her competency.

These first 2 nights when I've been alone with her she drinks 1/2 the water right at bed time. I don't particularly like it -- it's supposed to be for the middle of the night! But, I'm reluctant to restrict her in any way. So, she drinks when she pleases.

Wednesday night after her early morning bathroom request, she lay down on the carpet alongside of where I was sleeping on the bed. All I could think was, "You're not going to make this easy on us, are you?" Sadly...

Thursday evening she seemed agitated and I was a bit frantic, not knowing what she wanted and what to do. She was shaking off her pills effectively. I took her outside a bunch of times. Laid down on the floor with her. Petted her. But nothing seemed to satisfy her. Finally, I turned on the fan in my office and partially aimed it at her. Seemed to do some good.

Both Wednesday and Thursday nights she and I slept in in the morning. First, to 8:15, and then to 7:45. Cassie care at night is tiring, and I don't sleep particularly well anyway.

I told Maxine on the phone last night that there is evident decline in Cassie over just the few days I was away. She stumbles more, including front legs tripping over the door transoms, when before it was only rear legs. Pictures I take of her pretty consistently look drawn out. She reminds us of Ally, a supremely old looking dog look in her face.

It's Friday, she's in my office, Martha is here, and life is as normal as it gets these days...