Have the Bad Days arrived

It's Friday afternoon. On Wednesday evening around 9pm, Cassie had a seizure for 1 1/2 minutes. That's shorter than the last one (2 1/2 minutes), but it was only 2 1/2 weeks later. I'm very very worried if they start to come more frequently. That would be a sign of the end coming.

Maxine and I were watching TV and had actually just paused to take a break. The lights were relatively dim. No stress of any sort for Cassie to take in. We both stood up, and she stepped towards us. It was obvious (we know her pretty well) that something was amiss. She had her left leg tucked under to the elbow, rather than resting on her foot pad. Maxine and I jumped into care mode. Lights on. Towel down. Timing the length. We lowered her to the ground (she cooperated) and both murmered comforting words to her as she suffered through it. We were a good team.

She recovered fairly quickly and was walking around the room. That was a bit weird to me -- she seemed to be pacing quite a bit. Maxine pulled out info from research and also reminded me that something similar had happened after the last seizure. Nonetheless, it worried me to see her doing that.

In fear of a follow-on seizure, we kept the wave machine off at night. I don't think I slept that much as a result, plus the fact that Cassie did some pacing. I (think) she threw up a little bit the next morning (or maybe it was the morning before -- in either case, she's thrown up more in the last 4 months than in her entire life up until now).

Next day she was subdued and lethargic. But, Friday she seems fine. I'm back to singing "good days and bad days and going half mad days".

We talked about Cassie's situation at lunch, and I characterized it as she's got a tumor the size of a marble in her head and with each seizure it rattles around in her head and that (plus any growth from this slow growing tumor) damage all of the many body functions that the brain controls and eventually enough will be damaged that she won't be functional and we'll need to put her to sleep.

I'm very very glad that we've had March and April and May and 1/3rd of June (so far!) of mostly good days with Cassie. And, I'm glad I've been having the chance to love her as much as I can. But, I'm not looking forward to the progression I expect from the tumor...