Continuing...

Last night Maxine was alone with Cassie for 3+ hours and today I've got her for 4+ hours. A couple thoughts. First, she's rarely alone -- which is our goal. Second, as sad as it is to know that we're doing so, we are getting to say our long goodbye's. Third, I imagine that this time will make it all the harder to say goodbye for real when that becomes necessary.

Cassie's vet, Dr. H, is on a cruise till early June. This is the 2nd time since all of this started that she's been gone. Last time, I remember worrying that Cassie might die while she was gone, or worse, need to be put to sleep. I can remember seven years ago when this was necessary with Ally and how Dr. H made it a relatively comforted event. I know Cassie is going to die -- it chokes me up as I type this -- I just want the process to be comfortable for her and less than horrible for us.

Once more I've missed a day of taking Cassie photos. I really hate the part of me that is getting caloused to the idea that Cassie will die. The part of me that no longer ALWAYS gets on the floor with her when she comes over. The part of me that thinks wistfully about the trip we're going to take when she does die. The part of me that wonders if I'm going to go to NJ in August to visit my family...

Last week was a good week for Cassie, and since it was for her, a good week for us as well. BUT, the last 2 days haven't been the same. Sunday night she threw up at 5 am. We are good dog parents -- we both hopped up to clean up, and to comfort her. Maxine's father + Joyce had arrived earlier that day, so we rationalized the vomiting as being related to the stress of people. The night before (or after, I can't remember) she leaked in the middle of the night. Also rationalized to the visitors.

BUT, she also leaked yesterday around 6pm when I was making myself dinner. No more excuses. She isn't feeling well. She's lying in the hallway right now. Last night she slept most of the time that Maxine was alone with her -- slept in another room than Maxine was in. She's feeling tired. And we wonder what the cause is.

I feel an obligation to continue this blog for the remainder of Cassie's life. After all, she's been to Paris, she's a singularly loved dog!

About once/week I change my Facebook profile photo to a different one that honors Cassie. Just now changed it to one of her and Lauren posing after Cassie chased sheep in 2008. Both of them are very photogenic, although a LOT of Cassie photos now show her looking tired and very old, with opaque eyes...

42 views of this blog. I'm not sure all are mine. I wonder if there are people out there or just bots???